Reading a blog from my heady teenage days makes me miss being drunk all the time. When did I become so boring? I need to address this. Well I suppose I don't, there's nothing productive about being out of your tree day and night, but the highlight of my Bank Holiday shouldn't be the fact that I cleaned out the hoover.

Anyway, I'm reposting some gems that particularly made me chuckle, mainly because I don't want to forget the crazy shit I got away with. This will almost certainly be boring to everyone other than me.

Excuse bad spelling, bad grammar and the odd naughty word.

• "The study of nouvelle vague, chinese sixth generation, neo-german expressionism etc has suddenly been transformed into the study of blasphemy, debauchery, lechery and cum shots. And all the kiddies are jealous. Cos while you study your volcanoes in geography, atoms in phsyics, and whatnot and whatnot, I'm watching Paris Hilton give crap head." 

• "I knew I shouldn't have tried to make my funeral speech funny."

• "June told me to cut my fringe or i will lose my eyesight - it's a fringe not a prolonged ladywank June. Go give your advice to someone who gives a shit."

• "I went for a lovely walk earlier, i have found a nice little hill. I pretend I'm in the army and walk up it."

• "Roger asked Dre if he was wanking in Film earlier. It was fucking surreal. I kinda wish he had been, but he was merely fiddling with his phone. But to hear a professor with well respected books under his belt ask a student to stop wanking is really really odd."

• "I was sick last night from eating washing up liquid - that's what you get when you pick from the pan after its been left to soak. This is the second time this has happened to me and i was sick bubbles."

• "Someone has scratched 'Lloyd George' into one of the History desks, as if it was their tag. Imagine if Lloyd George had sat there many years ago, hey he's no Disraeli but they can't all be Jewish."

• "I had to pay a 50p fine for doing something, i think i said cunt. Cant remember."

• "Again the uncanniness = Bo the psychopath and Bo Rim the slag."

• "I dined with imaginary friends at lunch, at the same chair i always sit in. I am beginning to feel like a potted plant. I wish i was in the circus. GAH. They can stand there when I'm dead."

• "Out of the total eight exams i've done so far Mickey Mouse Studies has been the hardest. Ironic, non? Although i am impressed that it was the only exam which i managed to include the words 'VULVA', 'PENETRATE' and 'GODZILLA' it was generally a shitter."

• "It fucking blows waking up worrying if people you know are dead. Its all blows goats. But no-one i know is hurt which is obviously a relief." - (July 7th, 2005.)

• "I miss you Daniel. I want you to hug me. I want to hold your guns. I want to steal your breakfast. I want to shout at you for not doing anything in the order we wanted. I want you to tell me some big anecdote that doesn't impress me. I want you to fix my car when its poorly. I want you to tell me about the new album you have. I want you to be hungover even though i think its irresponsible. I want to think you make shoes even though i know that that is a cobbler not a carpenter. I want you to kiss me. I want to bitch at you for smoking. I want you to get in my way making yourself a drink. I want your laughter to fill up the room. I want you to threaten to hit me with dylan as if it's my fault your working slowly. I love you Daniel. I'm glad the last time we were together we were married. Even if KT did draw the rings on with a silver marker pen. It made me proud. I know only God can judge you but i judge you pretty highly."

• "anyway. ive crashed my car but i dontlike to talk about it, im depressed to be honest. honest again cos ive drunkedn half a bottle opf southern comfort and sambookas."

• "Bad luck isn't brought by broken mirrors, but by broken minds."

• "Fuck, i've cut my finger. God, millions of people are dying and i've cut my finger. I've cut my finger and people are dying. i've cut my finger."

Sent from my iPhone

I left home when I was 18 and, aside from popping back for the odd slice of banana bread or Sunday Lunch, I’ve lived independently ever since. I’ve had some rather nice addresses I must say, from living in super lovely WC1 to overlooking the sea on Third Avenue, Hove.

I’ve lived at my current London address for 18 months now, but this weekend marks the end of the first ever week that I have lived completely on my own.

So one week into solitary living, these are my thoughts on the pros and cons of living alone…

• When you return home from work everything is exactly where you left it, no more hunting for the mobile phone charger which has miraculously disappeared since you used it that morning. But, if you left the place messy in the morning, there is zero chance it has been tidied by the time you return.

• You get an entire bed to yourself, which means the joys of sleeping diagonally can be fully experienced and appreciated. The duvet is yours and only yours. But, the chances of a bit of hanky-panky are (understandably) greatly reduced when you’re sleeping alone.

• You never go to wash your hair/brush your teeth/clean the dishes and find that the shampoo/toothpaste/fairy liquid has been finished by somebody else and not replaced. But, you take full financial responsibility for all of these annoying items that aren’t fun to shop for but are life’s little necessities.
  

• It’s your night to choose what’s for dinner, every night of the week. No more arguing over whether spag bol deserves a weekly appearance on the menu (or was that just in my relationship?!). But, it’s always your turn to wash up.

• When you want to work, sleep or relax you can actually do so in complete silence. But, sometimes it’s just a bit quieter than you’d really like it to be.

• The wardrobe is yours. The wardrobe is yours. The wardrobe is yours. I dare you to find a downside to this point.

I was terrified I’d be lonely living on my own, but I find the pros definitely outweigh the cons (so far). I’m a bit confused as to how I will do ‘the big shop’ at Sainsburys on my own sans car, how do single vehicle-less people get their bags home?! I may as well warn you now that you may find yourself being drafted in to help me with that one.

I am praying to G-d, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Versace and anyone that will listen that I can negotiate my rent down so that I can afford to live here on my own for the foreseeable future. Otherwise, on the 15th of April I’ll be moving into new digs, most likely a flatshare with a bunch of strangers…an idea I find truly terrifying.

You know when you’re a kid and the Top 10 is about the most exciting event of the entire week? For me, it was even better than going for fish & chips after swimming club. The Top 40 itself was worth getting giddy for but when you got to the Top 10 you knew you were on to something special. After all, in them days you actually needed to sell quite a few copies of a single to make it in the charts. I remember the first two singles I bought with my own money, I bought them on the same day in an HMV in Chester and they were cassettes. It was 1998.

The singles?

‘Horny’ by Mousse T and ‘It’s Like That’ by Run DMC (Jason Nevins remix).

I still count ‘It’s Like That’ as one of my all time favourite choons and I don’t know what it says about me that I was singing ‘I’m horny’ at the top of my lungs when I was, ahem, 11.

Anyway, I digress.

Here’s the top ten new things with me…

1. I have an iPhone. It was a Valentine’s present to myself, because if you can’t love you then you can’t expect anyone else to. I’m a big fan of Tweetie, Locly and my new pet Koi carp.

2. I attended London Twestival. And wasn’t it lovely? A real treat to meet lots of online peeps in the ‘real world’ and to catch up with all those I’m fortunate enough to already spend a lot of time with…and all in the name of charity:water. Get drunk and save lives? Yes please.

3. I watched Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid. I highly recommend you do the same if you like to laugh and wish we all lived in the dizzyingly glamourous world of Film Noir. Films like this one make me wish I smoked, it always looks so god darn sexy in black and white.

4. I nearly had a pigeon in my bank account. My new marital status means I’m looking for new digs, Spareroom has been a source of strength for me as I’m probably going to share with a bunch of strangers (as scary as I find the idea). I fell in love with a one bed apartment in Holborn which turned out to be a scam, if you see any ads where the contact email is atameliat@googlemail.com…run for the hills.

5. Globrix had a love-in with Twitter. We’ve integrated a ‘tweet this property’ button into all of our property listings on Globrix, so now you can pimp your favourite properties to your Twitter friends with one easy click.

6. @PropertyPorn was born. Love sexy houses? Like to pretend you have a few zillion pounds in a Swiss bank account somewhere? Follow @PropertyPorn for your daily fix of hardcore homes.

7. I realised that I need to sort my health out. I don’t know if it’s the Jade Goody tragedy on the front of every red top paper, or just the fact that for a 21 year old I seem to be sick pretty much all of the time, but I’m going to sort my life the hell out. The boys at work say BMF is the answer. I’m sure fruit and veg is involved too. It starts next week…but this time I mean it, kinda.

8. I admitted that Eastenders is a bit rubbish at the moment. I know, a bit late to the game aren’t I?

9. I watched a lot of Flight of the Conchords. And I wondered, why is Bret not my boyfriend? We were clearly meant to be.

10. I continued with the never ending mission in my head to marry Dustin Hoffman. I could make him so happy if given half a chance.

And that’s about it. A lot less exciting than a real Top 10 chart, but I didn’t make any guarantees at the beginning of this post, did I? Hmmmm.

…and it was lovely, thanks for asking.

I had only been once before, same time of year but in 2006. This trip was very different, I went on my own, didn’t indulge in cheesecake, and I learnt a lot. I knew I was supposed to learn stuff, I was going to a conference after all, but I didn’t expect to come back having learnt what I had.

All in all, a very nice trip. I’m writing a proper real estatey article about it for The Negotiator, assuming it’s put online as well as in the magazine I’ll link to it here when it’s published. On this blog, well, I’m not so into chatting real estate ya know?

It was very nice to be spoilt for a week, I won’t miss that feeling in a hurry.

If you’re going to NYC any time soon, here are some do’s and don’ts to help you on your travels…

• Don’t eat before travelling by cab, you will vomit.
• Don’t speak loudly with a British accent, people will gather around you in awe.
• Don’t drink rum. Don’t drink rum. Don’t drink rum.
• Don’t think about the environment when standing in Times Square. The flashing lights are pretty, the polar bears will have to get over it.
• Don’t bother exchanging your pounds for dollars. There are enough drunk people in every bar to ensure you don’t have to spend a penny.
• Do go to Pravda in SoHo for amazing cocktails.
• Do wear tights under trousers if going in Winter. It may not be sexy, but it’s practical. Actually, who says it isn’t sexy? I secretly enjoy wearing tights under trousers.
• Do what you feel like doing, there’s nothing fun about being a slave to a travel guide.
• Do eat streetfood. Whether it falafel of Kosher franks…it’s yummy.
• Do look up, it’s dizzying in a cute way.

See it says ‘Pop’…they knew I was coming baby!

More pics here.

Someone on Twitter was talking about how they’d reached their 4 year blogging anniversary and it got me wondering as to when I wrote my first blog post. I knew my email address (my hotmail one) turned 10 last summer, but when did I first don my blogging cap?

After some digging around trying to remember the URL to the darn thing, it turns out my first blog post was on April 26th, 2005. The blog, lovingly known as Pop*n*Fresh, can be found here (WARNING: there’s muchos swearing and debauchery, if easily offended).

I was in my final year of Sixth Form College studying Economics, History, Psychology, European Studies and Film Studies. I had been rejected by Cambridge, worked in kitchens, still drove a car and I regularly spent weekends chinwagging with the likes of Max Clifford and Frank Lampard. I spent a lot of my time drunk…

I kept up with that blog pretty regularly until its eventual demise in January 2006. It’s been pretty emotional to read all the posts as it was a pretty life-changing time. Caroline and Daniel, two of my most gorgeous, beautiful and naughty friends, died. I left college, left home, moved to London, started university and met the man that I’ve lived with ever since.

I’m pleased I found that blog. It’s nice to look back at a slightly wilder time :-)

It appears to be New Years Eve, which must mean 2008 is pretty nearly over.

So what went down this year, anything cool?

Well, yes.

It’s been a big year for me, I finally graduated from UCL (with honours baybay) having spent what felt like forever studying the impossibly difficult but thoroughly fascinating subject of Economics, Business and East European Studies. Somehow or other I wrote a long and winding thesis on the trials and tribulations facing female entrepreneurs in Eastern Europe. I was mainly looking at the opportunities for women both during socialism and post-socialism, and how their business experience is affected by whether they were based in a CIS or CEE country. It was riveting stuff and if you ever find that the sleeping pills don’t work then I can email it over to you, you’ll be pushing zeds in no time.

Of course, being in a class full of beautiful oligarch offsprings led to some immense peer pressure in the shopping department. Over 2008, I increased my leather accessory collection to include some key staples from Prada, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Marc Jacobs and Bottega Veneta. By the end of the course I was a true Ruski. And I have to say I miss my European friends, with 99% having flown back to their various parts of the world.

I’m bloody pleased that unlike most of my graduating class, I didn’t go into banking. Many of my peers who worked their arses off to get to places like Lehman Brothers quickly found themselves jobless. If I hadn’t given up on Russian so quickly maybe I’d have gone abroad to work, but London has its charm.

Talking of work, 2008 was also the year I joined Globrix. It’s nice to work for a company you’ve always had a secret crush on. I love it there, even if I did have to work today ;-)

Hmmm, what else?

I turned 21, which was nice. I can now legally drink in the US, not that I’ve had much difficulty with that in the past!

I had some incredible fun with my crazy family, they’re all impossibly funny (especially Heather).

I also joined Twitter. And became addicted. Within a few weeks of joining I was already partying with @Zappos (Tony Hshieh) and @Zappos_Alfred (Alfred Lin) and a bunch of UFC fighters here in London. That was a *great* night. (More pics here)

I got really into video this year, with Seesmic, 12Seconds and the short-lived but much loved Snarky Girls blog.

I’ve also spent a large chunk of the past year being privileged enough to listen to my other half write pretty much the coolest album of all time. He rocks, literally.

All in all I’ve really loved 2008, I know people bitch about it but hey, I had a blast. That being said I won’t be out getting trashed tonight. I’ll be stuffing my face with Mexican food on my sofa at home, that’s got to be better than an overpriced overcrowded bar really, right?

Happy New Year Yo!

Last week, I flew home from Israel. I had a rather fabulous time I must say, the smug feeling of getting a tan whilst those back in London shuffle about in grey drizzle is hard to beat. And when it comes to nosh, Israel can’t be topped. Whether it’s a cup of coffee or a simple salad, it will undoubtedly be delicious.

Naturally, the Mac came with me on holiday. I wanted to use the time away to watch Lost Season 4 (which is bloody brilliant by the way) and I needed access to the interwebs because, well, ya know.

I was on the balcony looking out over the Jordanian mountains when a tweet from @BreakingNewsOn popped into my timeline. I soon found out that a few hours after we had driven down Route 12 in the Negev Desert, there had been a horrific accident.

The death toll eventually reached 24. I didn’t go back into the desert until I had to return home, but even a week later there was still evidence of the crash.

The majority of the trip I, unashamedly, sunbathed.

I planned to go to Masada, Petra and Ein Gedi, but in all honesty I couldn’t be bothered once I got there. I knew I’d be back fairly soon and the poolside was inviting. Besides, most of the trips I had planned would be better executed with Tel Aviv as a starting point rather than Eilat, Israel’s most Southerly tip.

Towards the end of my stay, Hamas ended the ceasefire with Israel. I have to say, I had no idea it would escalate to the tragic scenes we’re seeing right now so quickly.

A couple of years ago, I got caught up in a bit of a drama in Jerusalem myself. Some Palestinians had barricaded themselves inside a house which I found myself stuck outside. The army were there and it became clear that I wouldn’t be going anywhere for a while. I was absolutely bricking it. Needless to say, I escaped unscathed, but it was bloody scary.

On Saturday morning (the 27th) I was staying in Hove and was woken up by the sound of Press TV blaring out of the B&Ws. Since then I haven’t really been able to think about much else.

Twitter has become an amazing resource during the conflict, although I have to say that the amount of ignorant wankers I’ve seen shouting about one side or the other has made me really mad at the world. When I tweeted that Hamas had sent the first rockets I lost more than a handful of followers almost instantly.

Following the #gaza hashtag in Summize is pretty eye-opening, I think it’s fair to say that the majority of tweets are anti-Israel.

Let’s face it, if you’ve got half a brain cell you know that both sides have made some pretty big fuck ups. I’m not scared to say that Hamas is a terrorist organisation, it is. But Israel hasn’t exactly made life in Gaza a walk in the park.

I’m biting my tongue when it comes to this debate, I don’t need to talk about it on Twitter. I just hope it comes to a peaceful resolution soon that is acceptable to both sides.

Mike Butcher (@mbites) wrote a post today on TechCrunchUK which caused quite a stir, the comments were a fascinating/rage-inducing read and were well handled by Mike (bearing in mind he was trying to write about a startup). But I think @PaulCarr summed it all up better than I ever could…

Quite.

Blackpool Pleasure Beach

This is a very quick mish mash of clips from the weekend. The family and I went to Blackpool Pleasure Beach for the day and had a throughly pleasureable time, so I guess the place does what it says on the tin.

This has been hastily ‘edited’ because my fingers are cold and I’m sleepy but I just wanted to get it posted…a full review of the Blackpool experience to follow. It’s a magical place.