Reading a blog from my heady teenage days makes me miss being drunk all the time. When did I become so boring? I need to address this. Well I suppose I don't, there's nothing productive about being out of your tree day and night, but the highlight of my Bank Holiday shouldn't be the fact that I cleaned out the hoover.

Anyway, I'm reposting some gems that particularly made me chuckle, mainly because I don't want to forget the crazy shit I got away with. This will almost certainly be boring to everyone other than me.

Excuse bad spelling, bad grammar and the odd naughty word.

• "The study of nouvelle vague, chinese sixth generation, neo-german expressionism etc has suddenly been transformed into the study of blasphemy, debauchery, lechery and cum shots. And all the kiddies are jealous. Cos while you study your volcanoes in geography, atoms in phsyics, and whatnot and whatnot, I'm watching Paris Hilton give crap head." 

• "I knew I shouldn't have tried to make my funeral speech funny."

• "June told me to cut my fringe or i will lose my eyesight - it's a fringe not a prolonged ladywank June. Go give your advice to someone who gives a shit."

• "I went for a lovely walk earlier, i have found a nice little hill. I pretend I'm in the army and walk up it."

• "Roger asked Dre if he was wanking in Film earlier. It was fucking surreal. I kinda wish he had been, but he was merely fiddling with his phone. But to hear a professor with well respected books under his belt ask a student to stop wanking is really really odd."

• "I was sick last night from eating washing up liquid - that's what you get when you pick from the pan after its been left to soak. This is the second time this has happened to me and i was sick bubbles."

• "Someone has scratched 'Lloyd George' into one of the History desks, as if it was their tag. Imagine if Lloyd George had sat there many years ago, hey he's no Disraeli but they can't all be Jewish."

• "I had to pay a 50p fine for doing something, i think i said cunt. Cant remember."

• "Again the uncanniness = Bo the psychopath and Bo Rim the slag."

• "I dined with imaginary friends at lunch, at the same chair i always sit in. I am beginning to feel like a potted plant. I wish i was in the circus. GAH. They can stand there when I'm dead."

• "Out of the total eight exams i've done so far Mickey Mouse Studies has been the hardest. Ironic, non? Although i am impressed that it was the only exam which i managed to include the words 'VULVA', 'PENETRATE' and 'GODZILLA' it was generally a shitter."

• "It fucking blows waking up worrying if people you know are dead. Its all blows goats. But no-one i know is hurt which is obviously a relief." - (July 7th, 2005.)

• "I miss you Daniel. I want you to hug me. I want to hold your guns. I want to steal your breakfast. I want to shout at you for not doing anything in the order we wanted. I want you to tell me some big anecdote that doesn't impress me. I want you to fix my car when its poorly. I want you to tell me about the new album you have. I want you to be hungover even though i think its irresponsible. I want to think you make shoes even though i know that that is a cobbler not a carpenter. I want you to kiss me. I want to bitch at you for smoking. I want you to get in my way making yourself a drink. I want your laughter to fill up the room. I want you to threaten to hit me with dylan as if it's my fault your working slowly. I love you Daniel. I'm glad the last time we were together we were married. Even if KT did draw the rings on with a silver marker pen. It made me proud. I know only God can judge you but i judge you pretty highly."

• "anyway. ive crashed my car but i dontlike to talk about it, im depressed to be honest. honest again cos ive drunkedn half a bottle opf southern comfort and sambookas."

• "Bad luck isn't brought by broken mirrors, but by broken minds."

• "Fuck, i've cut my finger. God, millions of people are dying and i've cut my finger. I've cut my finger and people are dying. i've cut my finger."